If you have HOCD (also called Sexual Orientation OCD, SO-OCD) and notice arousal or sensations in your groin, this is not proof your thoughts are true. It’s a common OCD loop: intrusive thoughts → attention to the body → normal sensations → misinterpretation → more checking.
For the wider picture, see the HOCD (SO-OCD) overview
Feeling aroused down there – in your groin?
For men, this can be just a feeling or having an erection. For women, this can be feeling sexually aroused. You might also get sexualised thoughts and images relating to the same sex.
What do people mean by “groinal response”?
“Groinal response” is a catch-all for genital or pelvic sensations you notice—warmth, tingling, tightness, pressure, a sense of blood flow, brief lubrication or partial erection. These sensations are non-specific. They can happen with anxiety, attention, movement, posture, temperature changes, pelvic floor tension—or simply because you’re human. The groinal response in this context is just one of many of the symptoms of HOCD.
Arousal does not equal desire
In physiology, “arousal” often means autonomic activation (the body’s general “on” switch), not desire or identity. Anxiety itself can increase heart rate and blood flow—sometimes felt in the groin. That sensation doesn’t tell you who you are or what you want.
Why do I feel aroused?
It’s not too difficult to trigger a sexual response in any of us. In this respect, we are pretty primitive.
Forget HOCD for a moment, and let’s talk about sexual desire generally. Like most other things that happen to you, sex occurs in the brain first!
I mean that it is essentially an unconscious process; it is just something that happens to you without much knowledge on your part.
First, something has to spark your interest – remember, we are talking about sex generally here. This can be visual – where you see something in your mind when you think about something or an image pops into your head. Your hearing could also be involved if you hear someone having sex.
Then your brain has to do something else with this new information. Your amygdala comes into play. The amygdala does different things you don’t need to know about now. For now, think it has a role in deciding whether this new information coming into your brain deserves a physical response.
Point to note before I go on; your amygdala doesn’t really care about this new information. It is not a moral gatekeeper to decide what you should or should not get aroused over!
You might find it helpful to think that inside you are a series of networks, connections and pathways. Things are getting triggered right now to allow you to read these words I am writing – does that make sense? And if you lean back in your chair to cock your head to the side to think about it (as I have just done), that’s another set of messages in my (or your) network helping you to do this.
Back to what I was talking to you about. Suppose the amygdala decides this deserves a response (and again, it is not a thought process, keep with the networks and triggers example). In that case, it sets into play a series of events that ultimately end up with physical sensations in your groin.
That makes sense (to me anyway) when I think that sex is pretty essential to any species’ survival, and you won’t bother stopping what you are doing, looking for a private place, getting undressed etc., unless you are highly motivated to do so, hence the feeling in your groin!
I have given a fundamental overview, but the point I want you to think about is that for the response to happen in your groin, it is not the result of some moral code; it is something that occurs in a split second in your brain that is outside of your control. If it were in your control, you would never feel sexually aroused in inappropriate places!
HOCD and feeling aroused.
So why does this sexual response get triggered by members of the same sex when you have been heterosexual all your life?
I’m going to have to rely on your memory here, and let me start by saying that your memory is hugely unreliable! My Master’s degree was looking at the memory; trust me, your memories are not stored in a fault-free filing cabinet in your brain!
Think back to when this all started happening to you. It could have been something innocent, such as noticing that guy or girl is quite attractive. It could have been your friends teasing you that you are gay. You could have noticed a glimmer of arousal while there was someone of the same sex. There are too many scenarios to mention, but here’s the significant bit. Your brain, your thinking brain, came into play.
You might have started to question your sexuality; maybe you started to ‘do’ things to check it out for yourself, such as looking at members of the opposite sex to see if you could feel anything down there. This is where you start to run into trouble.
Remember how I said above that the processes involved in your brain are not some moral gatekeeper? It’s just a series of connections and triggers.
This is an elementary example, so apologies to the neuroscientists! When new information comes into your brain, it does a quick scan to see if it can match it up with something to decide what to do with it. Think late at night; you’re alone in a dark alleyway and see a huge shadow coming toward you.
Your brain quickly matches this with something that might hurt you and gives you the response that makes you feel stressed and scared to help you run away. It is only later that you see the culprit is a kitten, but you already have the stress response by this time. I hope you see what I am getting at! This quick matching process is not accurate. But it is quick. It is only later that you can decide, using your rational thinking brain, how accurate this matching process has been, but by that time, you already are feeling the physical effects.
So. New information, such as looking at someone of the same sex and then focusing your attention on your groin to see if you feel something, are you aroused? You are almost asking for a sexual response, except you are not doing it on purpose.
Or if you find that you watch gay porn to see if you are gay. As your brain quickly decides, you get aroused, yep, this is worth the amygdala making an effort to start the sexual desire response as it is close enough to the things they liked in the past. You get aroused.
Why does it feel like “evidence” in HOCD/SO-OCD?
Think of your brain as networks that learn by repetition.
- Attention amplifies sensation
When you scan the body (“Am I feeling anything down there?”), the brain turns up the volume on signals from that area. You notice more—and earlier—than someone who isn’t scanning. - Fast, imperfect matching
The brain makes quick, rough judgements before the “thinking” part catches up. If you look at someone you fear reacting to and you’re also body-scanning, the brain may flag a perfectly ordinary sensation as important. The meaning you give it (“That proves it!”) creates the distress. - Testing backfires
Checking, comparing, using porn “experiments,” clenching/releasing, replaying images—these are compulsions. They teach your brain: “This must be a threat—keep sending sensations and doubts.” Short-term relief, long-term trap.
Common compulsions that keep it stuck
- Body scanning or repeated “gut checks”
- Reassurance seeking (Googling, asking others, forum trawling)
- Mental tests (imagining scenarios to see if you “feel something”)
- Physical tests (posture adjustments, touching, clench–release)
- Avoidance (people/places/clothing you fear will trigger sensations)
How to respond (ERP applied to groinal sensations)
Goal: notice, allow, and do nothing to neutralise—then carry on with what matters.
- Name it accurately
“That’s a groin sensation + anxiety.” Not “proof,” not a signal to analyse. - Drop the experiments
No checking, no comparing, no deliberate imagery or porn tests. Experiments are compulsions. - Allow and move
Let sensations be there while you return attention to a small, valued action (send one email, make tea, walk the dog). You’re teaching the brain what matters more. - Plan gentle exposures (ladder you can repeat)
- Sit in a normal posture for 2–3 minutes and allow any sensations without adjusting.
- Watch a neutral scene with people you fear reacting to; keep gaze natural; no scanning.
- Wear your usual clothes (not “safety” versions); carry on with a simple task.
- Visit a previously avoided place (e.g., gym) with a tiny goal (5-minute walk-through).
Move up only when you can refrain from rituals, not when sensations “disappear.”
Helpful adjuncts: open posture + slow exhale; curious noticing for 2–3 breaths, then back to life; a “values pivot” (choose a tiny meaningful action now).
“But it felt real—surely that means something?”
All strong sensations feel real in the moment. Just because the thoughts in HOCD feel real, that does not mean they are true. In OCD, feeling real ≠ being true. The loop is: thought → scan → sensation → misinterpretation → more scanning. Break the loop at the behaviour level (no scanning/testing), and the meaning loses its grip.
Next steps
- Start with one tiny exposure today; repeat tomorrow.
- If you want structured help, CBT with ERP is first-line for OCD.
- If you’re stuck building a ladder, work with a clinician experienced in OCD
No. It’s a non-specific body sensation that often appears with attention and anxiety.
Monitoring amplifies perception. The brain turns up the volume on whatever you scan.
No. Testing/comparing are compulsions; they keep the loop alive.
ERP changes your relationship to the sensations. As you stop checking, they usually fade in frequency and importance.
Many start with self-help steps. If you’re stuck, seek CBT/ERP support.
Further reading:
- HOCD (SO-OCD) overview — symptoms, treatment & recovery
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for HOCD
- HOCD thoughts feel real
Recap
Sexual arousal is not proof that you are gay; it just means that your brain has given you a sexualised response that is mainly out of your control.
The more ‘checking out’ things you do, such as checking that you are not feeling aroused, strengthens this response in your brain, but it does not mean that you are gay.
It means you got unconscious arousal, and your thinking rational brain made the wrong assumptions, and it is these assumptions are now problematic for you.
