HOCD Symptoms, Cause & Treatment

Frequently asked questions about HOCD

Can HOCD change my sexuality?

HOCD is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and cannot change your sexuality, as your fears are only obsessions, .i.e. they are part of the condition and will go away when you no longer suffer from HOCD.

How long does it take to recover from HOCD?

Once your obsessions no longer bother you and you do not feel urge to perform a compulsion, your HOCD will go away. The time it takes varies, depending on when you start treatment and the work you put it.

Is HOCD a form of OCD?

Yes, HOCD is a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) where all your thoughts about your sexual orientation are the obsessive part of OCD and, for example, the checking you perform, as the compulsions.

How Common is HOCD

According to a study, approximately 8% of individuals with OCD have obsessions related to sexual orientation. From my personal experience working as a psychologist treating OCD for 20 years, people do not attend therapy stating that they are having difficult thoughts about their sexuality, this only comes out during a careful assessment.

Who is Affected by Sexual Orientation OCD?

HOCD can affect anyone, regardless of their actual sexual orientation. It doesn’t discriminate based on gender or sexual identity. You can read more on this here. Both men and women are susceptible to HOCD, impacting diverse demographics. I think the name given to the condition suggests it just happens to men, but in this article, I discuss that women also can suffer from HOCD.

How do I know if I have HOCD?

There are particular symptoms unique to HOCD, but to know for sure, getting a diagnosis from a licensed mental health professional is recommended. In my experience working as a psychologist for 20 years, it can be challenging to get a diagnosis.

Neither Homosexual OCD nor Sexual Orientation OCD are diagnosed in their own right; instead, they fall under the umbrella of OCD, which means if you meet someone like myself, a psychologist, you will not be given a diagnosis of HOCD; rather you will be diagnosed with OCD.

For a diagnosis of OCD to be made, the person needs to;

• have obsessions and compulsions that take up over one hour per day and
• cause distress or disruption to the person’s life in that they find it challenging to carry out day-to-day activities.

If you are not yet ready to meet with a psychologist or other mental health professional, I shall outline the main characteristics below before going into more detail with obsessions and compulsions.

What is the personal impact of HOCD?

HOCD can significantly impact a person’s life. The intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors often disrupt daily activities, making it difficult to concentrate, maintain relationships, and engage in social activities.

Damaged Relationships: The constant doubt and anxiety can strain relationships, particularly romantic ones. Individuals may withdraw from their partners, fearing that their intrusive thoughts mean they cannot genuinely love or be attracted to their partner.

Inability to Concentrate: The persistent nature of OCD makes it hard to focus on work, studies, or even casual conversations. The mind is often preoccupied with trying to resolve the uncertainty of the intrusive thoughts.

Increased Isolation: The fear of judgment or rejection may lead individuals with HOCD to isolate themselves from others, avoiding social interactions and relationships to prevent triggering their obsessions.

What is The Groinal Response?

Previously, I wrote an article on sexual arousal within HOCD, but I shall touch on it here again on my main page on HOCD. An unfortunate aspect of the condition is that not only are you actively searching for some sensation or feeling in your groin, which has been named ‘the gronial response’ but when you find it you take the sensation as some sort of evidence of sexual identity.

Like all forms of OCD, there are many physical sensations. most caused by the anxiety experienced by the condition, but one of the most difficult sensations people with HOCD have is the “groinal response.” It is simply a physical sensation in the groin area that can occur in response to intrusive thoughts.Individuals with HOCD often misinterpret this sensation as a sign of sexual attraction, which intensifies their anxiety. It’s important to understand that the groinal response is simply a physical reaction that can happen for many reasons and does not indicate actual sexual attraction. The heightened focus on this area due to OCD makes these sensations more noticeable, leading to more anxiety and confusion. This article from PsychologyToday concurs, that it is attentions that drives the sensation.

Quick experiment; look at the tip of your index finger on your right hand. Really focus on it, just the very tip. Does it feel different to the rest of your finger, hand or body? Can you feel heat on the tip of your finger? More than likely, you feel something, and that is because you are bringing 100% of your awareness to one specific part of your body. Think about that the next time you are experiencing sensations in your groin. It is not evidence of anything but the fact that you are paying attention to it.

What’s the difference between HOCD and being gay?

It’s straightforward, HOCD is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and being gay is enjoying and wanting romantic relationships with members of the same sex. If you have HOCD, your thoughts are about being gay–not your actions. If you are gay, your actions and thoughts show you are gay; you want, seek and enjoy romantic relationships with the same sex.

What about sexual fantasies?

Unlike fantasies, people with HOCD feel distressed by their thoughts – not aroused by them – which is the opposite of what typically happens during a sexual fantasy. This means that people with HOCD are not getting the same pleasure from their thoughts as those who do not have OCD.

What about finding members of the same sex attractive?

Human beings find many things attractive. Houses, cars, people, gardens, and the list goes on. If you think of the word attractive as meaning ‘pleasing,’ you can find and appreciate many things as pleasing; this also includes respecting the physical characteristics of the personality of someone the same sex as you. This does not mean you want a physical and romantic relationship with them. 

What about getting aroused?

If you are heterosexual, you have experienced sexual arousal while thinking about or watching members of the same sex. In that case, you can run into difficulty as you see this as evidence that you must be gay. This is a mistake. Ask yourself when you experience the arousal. Were you watching porn? For example, of course, you will feel arousal; we are sexual beings! But you could just be looking at a member of the same sex–but how are you looking at them? If I walked past you now in the street, I wouldn’t be thinking, do I feel anything? Am I getting aroused? I would just walk past you in the street. But the difference between you and me is that you would selectively attend to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. Your brain is actively searching them out; they might as well be walking about flying a flag to get your attention, and then you make the mistake of checking out how you feel in your genitals. You can read more about sexual arousal here.

How do I know I’m not just in denial?

This is the question I get asked the most. “How do I know that this is HOCD and that I am not gay and don’t know it.” I will explain to you what is happening, and it has a lot to do with ‘doubt.’

Do I need to come out?

HOCD is not having thoughts about ‘coming out.’ Coming out is where you choose to think about your sexuality, knowing you are attracted to members of the same sex and want to think about how to live your life as gay or lesbian. The thoughts in HOCD are symptoms of a mental health condition, OCD. OCD is characterised by having continual doubt. For example, doubt about cleanliness and germs, doubt about doing something correctly, and in this case, doubt about sexuality. HOCD has nothing to do with sexuality but with the doubt and uncertainty that exist within OCD.

My thoughts must mean something

This is a faulty belief system. Random thoughts mean nothing, thinking that they must mean something is called thought action fusion.