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Forgive to heal


forgiveness, image showing man carrying heavy burden

If it’s too heavy; set it down

Forgive everyone for all ills as much as possible. Forgiveness”, either secularly or religiously, does not mean you must embrace someone in familial adoration. Forgiveness does not imply that you must wipe the slate so clean you can pick up a broken relationship where you left off.

Forgiveness means you can let go hanging on to the painful emotion concerned with past events. Forgiveness does not imply a clean slate between people. It’s often mistaken for the idea of returning to “a new beginning” between people. That’s entirely wrong. Starting over and renewing a relationship that has gone bad is called reconciliation.

You forgive for your own sake. It clears your heart and mind of negative thoughts that hold you back from positive growth.

It seems our cultural use of the word “forgiveness” is either incorrect, or people are expecting too much of each other! Forgiveness and reconciliation are not at all the same. To forgive is neither to condone a wrong nor pardon one.

Forgiveness is simply letting go of our own
burden of bad feelings about something someone did to us.

It’s the ability to wish someone who wronged us well because we no longer see the need for vengeance.
We don’t want to pay pain back with pain. In no way is anyone required to commit to reconciliation. Sometimes that isn’t possible, especially in intimate situations, if trust is broken or abused.

You can only ask if you need to be forgiven of a wrong. Asking alone is making amends. You do not have to receive forgiveness from another person to have done your part in the two-way relationship that forgiveness creates. Your piece of the matter is settled, and you are now ready to move onto the more fertile, productive ground.

It is inevitable to feel insulted or hurt on life’s journey. There is probably not one person over the age of three that has not been hurt multiple times, and many even hold resentment against the people that hurt them. You could resent parents, spouses, children, friends, etc. Some people hold grudges for years, and the negative feelings associated with such slowly bring them down and eat away their insides. Unforgiveness is truly an attitude that will not bring anyone any good.

St. Augustine said,” Feeling resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. If you hold grudges against someone, you suffer, not them.”

Unforgiveness is a prison.

Can you picture that? You drink poison and hope that the person you are angry with dies? It won’t happen. They will go along merrily while you seethe in pain and misery.

Many people underestimate the value of forgiveness. Living with bitter feelings, regrets, and resentments can hold people back emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

The unwillingness to forgive holds people in prison. It holds people back from experiencing the positive emotions we love to share: Love, joy, and peace.
Forgiveness can give us the strength to let go of the past and be optimistic about the future.

We all deal with unhealed wounds from time to time, but forgiveness can free us from the pain associated with those wounds.

Forgiveness acts as a healing agent and sets us free from such bondage.

Be quick to forgive

Have you ever met someone bound up in pain associated with something or someone from their past? It could be a distraught, angry, and bitter divorcee who cannot forgive a partner or a co-worker who cannot forgive his/her parents for not being emotionally available. You might even tell this person they ought to forgive, but they refuse to. They do not realize that their unforgiveness is holding them back in various ways.

Many opportunities arise where the chance to become resentful presents itself, so it is a great idea to decide today that you will be quick to forgive because you value your well-being.

To walk in freedom, we must learn that forgiveness is not a feeling but a choice. We don’t always feel like forgiving those that hurt us but to walk in freedom, we must. Our unforgiveness does not hold that other person back-it holds us back. We feel terrible when we don’t forgive; not the person we have that unforgiveness against. This is why it is vital to unlock the doors of forgiveness in your own life for your freedom and peace.

Freedom feels good, so understanding that resentment and bitterness imprison you is your first step to feeling great freedom. Even when a person hurts and harms you, it is essential to forgive that person for your sake. It does not justify their hurtful or harmful act. Still, it releases you from an emotional prison that can bring you down over time.

It is also essential to be able to forgive yourself. Mistakes happen in life, and you must learn to forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes, and move on. In doing so, you will experience positive emotions and live in freedom. Way too many people beat themselves up every day for mistakes they’ve made or the fact that they have hurt others. Know that it is alright to forgive yourself no matter what has happened in the past.

Think of forgiveness like a muscle you can exercise to love more deeply and authentically. When you want to make your muscles stronger, you exercise regularly. In the same way, if you’re going to deepen your love, forgive regularly. Sometimes forgiveness occurs immediately, but sometimes it is a process, much like grieving. Letting go can be gradual, but as long as you do let go, that wound will be able to heal.
Forgiveness raises your vibrational level and expresses love toward yourself and others.

Take a few moments today to evaluate whether you hold unforgiveness toward anyone, decide to forgive that person, and move on- free and joyful.