Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results: Einstein Click to tweet
Unless you have transcended your humanity, there are always going to be some things that disturb, stress and worry you.
I have a friend who was always furious in the morning because he read a political columnist whose views he was absolutely in opposition to. I asked why on earth if he found such writings to be so maddening, why did he read them? His reply was “I need to see a different perspective at least once a day.”
Now that’s a refreshing, noble idea that was doing my pal no good whatsoever. He was becoming furious and grumpy for an hour or so, just in an attempt to balance out his worldview. I don’t think that was wise.
Another blogger attended church services with a family member. My blogging friend neither agreed with that particular church’s dogma or doctrines nor found some of them in fact quite offensive. Why did he go? To keep peace in the family.
Both these two people (men) really wanted to do something good for others. One wanted to keep his mind open; the other wanted to maintain the familial status quo. Care and concern, and self-sacrifice. Don’t applaud yet.
Both tactics were creating hellish side effects. My ambitious friend who sought an open mind only got more and more angry and set in his notions that the “other guys” politically were nincompoops.
The guy seeking to keep his relatives happy by his religious affiliation? Yes, he became an atheist. That really shook the family’s status quo! Sometimes in efforts to be better people, to become more tolerant, we actually create the very situation we intended to avoid. What does that have to do with anxiety and worry?
As the title says, “some things will always bother you,” and somethings will always stress you out. Our ability to alter our personalities, to retrain our thought processes is vast, but not infinite.
A better solution is to investigate what is it about situations, people, circumstances actually worry you or stress you the most? What provokes anxiety in the situation? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an insolvable issue.
At any given time, a problem may have no good solution. We must allow for time and change to work on us before some solutions become evident.
We need to learn to avoid disturbing our own peace, and surrendering our own serenity. When we resent the things we do for others, the resent will build, it will fester, and we will agonize, worry, and fret about how to get ourselves out of a mess we dropped ourselves into. Not all self-interest is bad.