It’s the time of peace and goodwill to all men. Yeah right, but what about the mother-in-law, screaming kids and lack of batteries, that Santa forgot on Christmas morning?
You can survive it, and with a bit of know how; enjoy it! Or that’s the plan, anyway.
Family and In-laws
Weddings, funerals, and Christmas, you are all thrown in together as one big extended family, and expected to smile and enjoy it. But what about the brother you haven’t spoken to in years, or the mother in law from hell, who stresses you with helpful hints on how to cook the turkey correctly?
Christmas or not, every week you will get things that annoy you, but the trick is to choose your fights, and I hope to show you, that most occur in your head and you can leave them alone.
The punches you can’t avoid
Your mother in law’s helpful tips on how she would have cooked the turkey.
This is a quick punch that occurs as she says it (or even as she is taking the turkey from you and ‘fixing’ it.) You have two options.
1. Seethe for the rest of the day, which includes
- Thinking about it all during Christmas dinner, dessert, opening presents.
- You can continue thinking about it long after Christmas, if that is how you roll. (take a minute, do you do that with other things, think about them and feel the pain, even though the event that annoyed you has long gone?
- Miss the dinner. You are there; you are bodily present, sitting at the table, but in your mind you are having a mental fight with your mother in law.
- Mother-in-law gone, kids in bed, and rather than kick back and relax, you discuss your mother-in-law at length with your partner (this includes bringing up previous Christmas’ and all other times when she annoyed you.)
I think you get the picture.
2. Forget it.
How to quickly forget it and move on and enjoy your Christmas.
Compassion. Come back, don’t stop reading, I’m trying to help :)
Think about her compassionately, trust me, it will make it easier for you. Try thinking of her actions differently, and see if it makes you feel different. What if she is not secretly thinking that you are the worst person in the world, with no skills whatsoever.
What if she feels that you are doing too much and is genuinely trying to help? What if she is nervous, as this could be her first Christmas away from her own home where she did everything and doesn’t know what to do with herself.
Let it go.
How? The bad feelings you have will only continue if you think about it. Keep bringing your attention and thoughts back to what you are doing. Carving the turkey, opening presents, having a glass of wine. Whatever you happen to be doing, when the thoughts pop into your head, focus on what you are really doing.
How? Pretend I was there with you in your home and to everyone else it looks like you are sitting at the table eating your Christmas dinner. However, I can see your thoughts popping up like a cartoon bubble above your head. When I see this I keep say “hey it’s over, pay attention to me as I was having a conversation with you, and you are lost in your thoughts!”
Mantra for this Christmas
Peace and goodwill to all men and the mother-in-law Tweet this
Remember, you have two choices
- Stressful Christmas
- Happy Christmas
We wish you a Happy Christmas