You Are Good Enough Just as You Are

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Dr Elaine Ryan
Written by Dr Elaine Ryan Psychologist and Founder of MoodSmith® Elaine obtained her Dr in Psychology from the University of Surrey and has worked in psychology for 20 years. Dr Ryan specialises in Intrusive Thoughts, OCD and anxiety-related conditions.
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If you’re like most people, you strive to become “good enough”. This can look like living a life striving for perfectionism, being overly busy, beating yourself up when you make a mistake, and never really attaining a feeling of true accomplishment and joy. Essentially, you’re striving for self-love via perfectionism, and the two don’t go together.

Do you compare yourself to others often, wishing you could be more like them? Are your thoughts swaying more to the negative side?  Are you obsessive-compulsive? Always have to have everything in order? Do you walk around feeling like you aren’t good enough?

The pressure is mounting.

We live in a society that does put a lot of pressure on us. There is this picture of the perfect person or family that goes forth in much of the media, and we think that we can attain this- or at least we try. The problem is that there is no such thing as the perfect person or family. Plus, there is nothing “wrong” with us. We’re not broken. We’re not unworthy due to the past.

The truth is that we are all worthy, and we are all “good enough”. Why? Just because we are living, breathing human beings on the big planet called Earth. We’re all here on the “discover our self-love” type of journey, but the journey does not have to be brutal. We don’t have to walk around with slumped shoulders over not having enough, doing enough, or being enough. The beauty of learning to have unconditional love for yourself (no conditions) is that we can love ourselves AND feel good enough even when things (life) is not going as planned.

So, when you are struggling with low self-worth and the feeling that you’re not good enough, remember the following tips to bring you back to the reality that you’re amazing just as you are. In fact, RIGHT where you are.

  1. We’re all perfectly imperfect

When you start comparing yourself to others and being harsh on yourself, remember that we are all perfectly imperfect human beings. No one is better than you, and you’re not better than anyone else. We all go through challenges, and we all face pain. We all win some, and we all lose some. It’s alright. Love your imperfection!

  1. Don’t believe all your thoughts

You don’t have to believe every thought that goes through your mind. Believe in the good ones. Don’t believe the negative ones. Yet, it’s easier to believe the negative ones at times. Yes, it seems this way, so recognizing that you’re doing this is essential. Then, make a firm decision to call those thoughts lies and turn them into something positive.

  1. Love yourself even when you think you deserve no love

The feelings of unworthiness may come, and you will feel like a total mess. It is then that you must allow yourself to love you, right where you’re at, no matter what has occurred. Those that feel unworthy need a big dose of love.

  1. Life is a journey to be enjoyed now

Practice mindful or present living. Be in the now. Be alright with then now, understanding that “now” is all you have. As you become more mindful of the present moment, you can choose to practice self-love moment by moment, staying out of the past and the present.

  1. It’s progress, not perfection

You’re not after perfection, as perfection is unattainable. You’re after progress. We all are. Progress feels good, although in and of itself, progress still doesn’t make you worthy. You’re worthy and good enough just because. Although momentum and progress do feel good, so keep aware and do one right thing after another and you’ll feel less stress and less judgment toward yourself.

Take a moment and gauge where you are on your journey right now. Do you feel good enough? Are you striving for perfection or peace? Peace can come if you accept and love yourself right where you are, flaws, imperfections, and all. Make it a daily practice to remind yourself that today is a day for self-love. Today is a day where you will celebrate no matter what. Today is all we have, so let’s honour ourselves and commit to more love.

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