Forgive everyone of all ills as much as possible. Before there’s a hue and cry lifted up about how hard that is, let me clarify a few items. “Forgiveness”, either secularly or religiously, does not mean you must embrace someone in familial adoration. Forgiveness has no implication that you must wipe the slate so clean you can pick up a broken relationship where you left off.
Forgiveness means you can let go hanging on to the painful emotion concerned with past events. Forgiveness does not imply a clean slate between people. It’s often mistaken for that idea of returning to “a new beginning” between people. That’s quite wrong. Starting over, renewing a relationship gone badly is called reconciliation. You forgive for your own sake. It clears your heart and mind of negative thoughts that hold you back from positive growth.
It seems like a lot of our cultural use of the word “forgiveness” is either incorrect, or people are expecting too much of each other! Forgiveness and reconciliation are not at all the same. To forgive is neither to condone a wrong, nor pardon one.
Forgiveness is a simple letting go of our own burden of bad feeling about something someone did to us.
It’s the ability to wish someone who wronged us well, because we no longer see the need for vengeance.
We don’t want to pay pain back with pain. In no way are is anyone required to commit to reconciliation. Sometimes that just isn’t possible, especially in intimate situations, if trust is broken or abused.
If you’re the person needing to be forgiven of a wrong, you can only ask. Asking alone is making amends. You do not have to receive forgiveness from another person to have done your part in the two way relationship that forgiveness creates. Your part of the matter is settled, and you are now ready to move onto more fertile, productive ground.